Castaway

So we arrived at our next location no worse for wear from our Wet-Sundays experience, just merely a bit damp. The area itself is a small area of society within a vast expanse of Australian nothingness that forms two separate towns; 1770 and, the rather attractively named, Agnes Waters. 1770 is named as such in tribute to the exploits to one Captain James Cook, who touched down on the beach in the year 1770 (shock horror), found a few bars (...) and decided to set up camp. Agnes Waters was named after an old 18^th century octogenarian with a weak bladder. Choose to disregard that fact at your own peril! We arrived at 1 in the afternoon after a rather unenviable 12 hour bus ride and were instantly told that our trip to Castaway Island would be leaving at 2. We were told to buy supplies for the night and morning and a bit of booze and report for our pre-flight briefing ASAP. I had absolutely no idea what to expect and was envisioning a artificial hand-holding sort of trip under the false banner of authentic cast-away experience, however, I am glad to report I couldn’t have found myself much further from the truth.

We started off with a 10 minute off-road drive through a small area of forest until we reached a long rectangular clearing. There we met Bruce, the finest Australian specimen that any of us have met during our 5 months stint, and his plane, one of the ricketiest 4 seater planes I’ve ever seen, let alone flown in. Within 5 minutes we’d managed to get the wheels off the ground, and so started the first ever stunt piloted flight of my life. The flight was punctuated with high rise stalls into zero gravity nose dives, some heavy banks from side to side and then, after 15 minutes or so, the perfect beach landing with the crest of the sea a few feet to our left. Bruce then showed us our campsite for the night, which consisted of 4 tents, a gazebo with fairy lights, Ipod dock and gas stove, 2 kayaks and a few resident bird-eating spiders and lizards. And with that, once Bruce had taken off once again, we were left alone to our island with only a lighthouse keeper somewhere in the mountains for company. After we’d set up camp, we uncovered an old oyster knife, so decided to mount our kayaks and go in search of lunch, which I can gladly report we found and, after some slight struggling, enjoyed the freshest oyster lunch I think I may ever have!

After a rare display of foresight, leading to us felling a few trees for a giant beach fire in the evening, we read about a sunset dolphin walk (the name itself was easily enough to attract my attention), an hour or so to the West of the island. In a bid to needlessly heighten the drama, the phrase fraught with danger came into conversation regularly; after all, our island was home to the two most lethal landsnakes in the world, the King Brown and the Taipan. Alongside these particular joys of Australian ecology, we also had a host of lethal spiders which had decided to set up camp alongside our one rugged path through the jungle on the way to the beach. At least you know what to expect when you holiday in Australia... However, after an hour of sheer death-defying madness, we reached the beach and were not to be disappointed. As the sun was setting, five or six different pods of dolphins were swimming around the completely deserted bay, we were aware we had to tackle the walk back and it would be ideal to do so with some light, but I defy anyone to walk away from that view; it’d take a stronger man than me!

Even despite my weakness for natural aesthetics, we managed to make it back just before the night truly set in and went straight to work with our gender roles. The ladies working on our beef stew, whilst the men grunted and set to the task of building a testosterone riddled signal fire. Moments later (give or take) we were savouring our hot beef stew around our 8 foot fire, enjoying a bit of whiskey and coke and enjoying one of the most pristine night sky views I fancy I shall ever see. If I may briefly impersonate someone much more advanced in years than myself, as the days of light pollution invariably increase, I predict it’ll be a challenge to find a more undisturbed view of the sky than the one we had on our abandoned castaway island!

As is the way with camping, our next morning was an early one and we awoke to a sight which aided our waking up process no end. One the opposite wall of our tent was a 10 inch long silhouette of a bird eating spider, needless to say, I went from dreaming to pushing my kayak into the sea in no longer than 10 minutes. Nobody would have suspected that the spider was doing me a favour that morning, especially not myself, but it would prove to be another of life’s little surprises. When I was a suitable distance out that the waves no longer caused much of a challenge to my balance, I decided to have a quick post-traumatic stress nap. Ten minutes or so later, I was woken up by a very slight noise of splashing and turned my head to see a turtle swimming alongside my kayak. One of those perfect moments and I owe it all to a spider much larger than my own face... Only in Australia.

After a brief scout of some nearby caves, which were home to a veritable squadron of jellyfish, we had a brief oyster brunch just before Bruce landed to pick us up. The flight back was just as aviationally unsound as the flight out, and for this, we were grateful! With a few more seconds of zero gravity time under our belts, we landed back at our clearing and were aware that our castaway experience had come to an end. It was a very early night for us that evening, preparing for our 5am trip down to Rainbow beach, but I think even without the early wake up I wouldn’t have made it much past 11 anyway, at least this way I had an excuse. And with that, marked the end of the finest trip I’ve had since I left in January (a conclusion which took me some time to confirm!). But the next few days held promise of a trip to Frasier island with some beach/inland 4x4 driving thrown in for good measure. The only way to engage in this profession of mine is to go from strength to strength and I can safely ensure you I don’t intend to find out what the alternative would lead to...